my insomnia problem is getting worser lately... the frequency of askin my mum to just knock me out with a bamboo pole is increasing and i desperately wans to sleep. But i can't... despite taking offs from work n stuffs. I feel n look so energetic yet my eyes hurt like mad n i still can't bring myself to sleep. Damn... I happened to spend a night @ a friend's place somewhere this week. Thou the sleep was "broken" here n there but each time when i fell aslp, i felt it was a time where i reali could say i slept!!! And the conclusion is... for me to know.

13 of my relatives came over for the weekends last week n thou it was reali tiring but i had a great time w them gg on the hippo bus touring ard s'pore. Had a great time spending it w Mandy(cousin) and Rox(sis) esp coz we wen drinking. Accompanied us was Rox's 2 friends who joined us soon after we settled @ Chambers 21, Circular Road. Since the last time @ Lan Kwai Fong (HK'05), last week was the 2nd time my sis n i wen drinkin together. Sounds pathetic but i know we are lookin forward to more sessions :p S'pore nightlife ranked 2nd in the world <if m not wrong> rite? Yet, the pubs close so early like ard 2-3am? Gosh, Mandy was so awake and I had to find another place that could let us continue w our drinks n games. Bein the "suaku turtle", the onli place i knew was Babyface @ One Fullerton. To my "kangtang" friends out there and even for Yung n ZY who were w us tat night, it was a culture shock or could be a "turn-off" to some but well, there's alwiz a 1st time... hee.

She is still unwell since her relapse 3 weeks ago? And lately, i have so many similar cases even @ work. Previous experience helped me in dealing w these pple but i also realised tat i can't reali seem to handle my own emotions after helpin them. I snapped. I believe that one can walk out of their illness where it concerns the mind n the heart if they are willin to take the 1st step but if u do not even try, dun keep comin back w the same stories. I know i should be patient but i think it was too much for me to take while jugglin w other stuffs. not sure how to continue to express it out in words n m juz overwhelmed but i know i will have to press on.

Dec was a breakthru for many of us @ work as we carried out an ops which was the 1st time for many. It was indeed an eye-opener. Somehow, an unexpecting email was received and w the various incidents tat accompanied it along the week, i was hit. Nevertheless, i decided to clear my offs so for now till the end of yr 2006, i will be only working 3 days a week excluding public holdiays. But of coz i will still help out if manpower is needed. On top of that, ofc is reali quiet nowadays n i miz my TL. haha... it doesn't mean anything in particular but his absence sure made a difference... prob m too spoilt by him :)

Sometimes, i think i have become a workaholic without knowing it but i think its good for me in a way.

Thou i dun wana become a taufu but somehow i have become 1 n i enjoy it thou there is a feeling of emptiness in me. Is there actuali motivation in my life now? Or m i waiting to be hit reali hard n be condemned thou m rather "unproductive" all these years...

Stayin home all day long when there is a list of things i need to do n pple to meet yet m not doing anything. M like a vampire who onli comes out @ night n even so, reali selective pple who prob duno me for long or well.

Attended a mortuary course n i wana declare that if possible, i dun wana go thru an autopsy after i die. Please!!!

gotten news that WJ wen thru his customory last weekend. Wishing him happiness everafter and zao3 shen1 gui4 zi3!

Lastly, w reference to an earlier post... i did it again. Somehow, it is different this time n i duno how to put it across. I wana share but if onli there's some life shown. For now, i think i juz gota wait for Ben to come back... my "rubbish" confidante...